Enduring Noise
by Tabby Phobos
Summary: Rating for swearing and references to shounenai. Tira recounts an important event in her life.


A/N: Okay, I know. I said I might not write for Bakuretsu Hunters again, but… oh well, bite me. Someone actually asked me to do another. ^^;;; So this is technically not my fault ^^ Oh, who am I kidding, it is my fault. Oh well. Um, warnings I guess? Sad attempts of Tira + Carrot sap gone horribly wrong. HORRIBLY WRONG. Expect the unexpected. And I will NEVER do this again. It's just that I'm doing this to annoy my readers for my other fandom, so they chew on my legs some more for me to write more for them. ^^ Urg, I was talking about warnings, wasn't I? Damn. Ooo, look! A reason for the high rating! ^^ You better believe it, I can't right much without the f-bomb exploding on everyone. I cuss in my writing. A lot. Wait! Come back! Yargh, there went half the people reading this! Hmm, what else do I see to scare the rest of you away… blatant references to shounen-ai… but that's kinda because the anime and manga are so riddled with it… or maybe I just see it too well… Anyway. Like my last fanfic was, it may seem a little OOC, and it is, once-again, Tira-centric, but only because I love her so much. ^^ First-person again too, but there will actually be dialogue, which is new for this perspective for me too. And there will still be a lot of thinking on Tira's part, but not so much as expected. Tira-centric stuff seems easier in first-person. Maybe because I can stay in her mind the whole time. And, um, if this isn't sappy enough for you, sorry. I think I've gone past the part when sap is fun and easy. It's damn difficult now. And I'm trying to not put much plot into this, or it might turn into a craptacular cliché piece of shit, and I will NOT allow that. Let me inform you right now, this won't be that sappy. In fact, you may want to hunt me down and kill me later. Just… expected the unexpected. Anyway. Disclaimer… Bakuretsu Hunters is owned by Satoru Akahori, Rei Omishi, ADV, and a whole bunch of other people. Don't sue, don't steal, or there will be much death. Mine for the former, yours for the latter. Wakarimasuka? Okay, now that I've written over a half page of author's notes, let's start reading the fic, ne?

~*~

It all started with a new mission, all those years ago. I don't even remember what mission it was, but it was bad enough for our team of Carrot, me, and Marron to be teamed up with Oneesama and Gateau.

I collapsed against a tree, exhausted from our daylong hike from the last village. And to think, we only made it halfway through the forest. Oh, joys of joys. I will have the mother of all cramps tomorrow. Oh, how I hate you God. Gateau was already glancing around, not even breaking a sweat in this godforsaken, near-setting sun. I guess he's setting out where we'll sleep and where the fire will be. Despite him being a muscle man, he is pretty okay with relative measurements. Just never give him insanely huge numbers.

Marron, on the other hand, was already digging out one of his huge spell books to look over while fishing. Oh, look, there goes the fishing pole. But it's the next sight that caused me to get off my ass and follow him. And that sight was Oneesama practically draped on Carrot.

Following Marron through the woods, no matter how winded I am, is never a hard task. With his bad ankles, he can't walk, or run, for that matter, very fast. So I caught up with him soon enough, still wheezing from our last tread through the woods. "Hey, Marron, is something wrong? Trouble in paradise?"

He flashed his soft black eyes at me; eyes that are often cold as ice to our enemies, the pests that we usually exterminate, the revolting sorcerers. But his eyes were always warm and welcoming to me. That may be because I'm his best friend. It may be because I was the only one who gave a shit about him through school, other than his brother. Who knows why, but this time, I could tell it was because of something else. I was on to something.

He smiled sadly, like he always does when someone is concerned about him. He's getting so predictable, it's scary. He shook his head, his ebony black hair making a funny shuffling sound over his robes. "No… That's not it, Tira." I put my hand on my hips. "Not it, my ass. You're lying through your teeth, and you know it."

Marron began to laugh. Not many of heard him laugh, ever. It's very pretty, actually. All light-hearted, tinkling like bells. Wow, if you looked at this, you'd think I was in mad love with the guy, or something. But no. He's just my best friend. And I'm thankful that he is. I couldn't ask for one better. And he's insecure, so I'm in the habit of complimenting him.

"I should have known better than to lie to you, Tira!" With that statement, he put an arm around my shoulders, and tried to keep up with my pace. I saw him stumble once before I realized his random act of idiocy. I slowed down to his normal pace. "Well, are you going to spill it, or am I going to have to rip off my cloak?" Marron laughed again, but it was more of a sad chuckle than his light laughter. I could feel my expression get darker.

We were silent until we reached the nearby river and Marron set himself up to fish. It was dark by then. He set his book in his lap, but when he tried to open it, I closed it again. "Marron! Tell me what's wrong, for crissakes!" Marron sighed, but let his book be closed. "Tira… you guessed right. Things aren't going so well for Gateau and me." It was hard to see in the dark, but I could hear the tears in Marron's voice. Fuck. If I had known that's what the problem was, I wouldn't have pushed so much. Marron would've told me when he was damn ready if it was a relationship thing. If it were an annoyance, my caring would have been under-appreciated. But a lack of caring from a significant other and a great amount of caring from me usually brings him to tears. I know, not my fault, but I can't help but blame myself sometimes.

"Oh, honey, I'm sorry." I wrapped my arms around his midsection, pulling him closer to me. He caught the hint and hugged me as hard as he could, squeezing me like he would die if he let go. Only then did he start sobbing into the shoulder of my cloak. Not to any surprise or issue to me. A wet shoulder is a sign of a good friend, in my book.

Maybe I pushed a little too hard, because he didn't even wait until he was calmed down to tell me his plight. "Oh, Tira, it's horrible… He says it's okay, but I'm sure it isn't… It's almost as if he was ashamed of me or something… oh, Gods, why did he have to choose me…" I twitched an eyebrow. Something in his rambling was not right. "Hold on, dearest, what did you say? Did you say he's ashamed of you?" I could feel Marron's head nod against my shoulder, and against my hand, which was stroking his pretty, soft hair.

"Of course he's ashamed of me… why shouldn't he be?" Oh, sometimes there was no dealing with this guy. I pulled him away from me so he could see my face. And of course he instantly looks away. "Marron, listen to me. Gateau has nothing to be ashamed about with you. Hell, he should be showing you off like a trophy! You're perfect, you hear me? Perfect. You're attractive, nice, funny when you want to be, brilliant, caring. You are a wonderful person, and don't ever let anyone make you think other wise." Marron sniffed a few times, obviously calming down. Good, this was the moment I was waiting for. When he was still focused on the subject, but more stable so that he could explain much more understandably. "Now, Marron, what makes you think Gateau is ashamed of you?"

Marron wiped some of the tear-tracks off his face. "Well, before, 'Niisan was more upset than now, it seemed. But, even so, Gateau was never subtle in his flirtations, or in his display of affections. But, recently… he's been only showing me that he cares in private. Before, I would have been quite happy with it. But I guess I've become dependent. Perhaps he's ashamed of that?" Marron looked at me with such a lost look, I wanted to cuddle him until he died. Oh, God, how could Gateau be such an ass to him! Stupid bitch. I voiced this thought to make Marron smile. It didn't work. Dammit. "Well, I've been seeing him start to talk to Carrot more, and maybe Carrot isn't as okay with this as you think? Maybe… persuading him to not do things in public like he did before?" As the words left my mouth, I felt two emotions collide in my brain: rage and self-hatred.

How could Carrot do such a thing? Doesn't he know how much Gateau's love matter to his little brother? Jesus, you'd think he would at least be happy for Marron, not still obsessing over the fact that Gateau is male, and that his brother is gay, right? Oh, no, not Carrot. Always one-sided, always thickheaded, never open-minded at all.

On the other hand, how could I say such a thing about Carrot? I mean, I know he's just a bitch, but how could I say something like that and mean it? Don't I love him?

After a few moments of Marron's slowing breathing and the cricket noises, the rage beat the self-hatred upside the head, and I got up to my feet and started walking toward the camp. Marron cocked his head at me. "Are you going now?"

I nodded. "Oh yeah. I'm going to go yell at your brother." I could feel Marron's eyes widen, even though I couldn't see him. "What?" I didn't answer him, just started stomping through the woods, not caring how much noise I made. I stomped all the way back to camp, crunching leave and twigs. Maybe even a frog here and there, just to enjoy the squish that Carrot's guts would inevitably make. It's safe to say I was an inch away from ripping off my cloak and yanking out the whip, but I wanted to stay in control for this one.

The tents were up and the fire was going when I got there, and I could almost feel Gateau turn to ask me where I had been, but I knew, one look at my expression, and it was not a good idea to piss me off. In fact, it was a good idea to start sympathizing over whom was the one in deep shit. And since Oneesama appeared to be in a tent changing, it could only be the stupid pervert zoanthropist.

I wasted no time. I stalked on over to the other side of the clearing and slapped Carrot clear across the face. Rustling from the tent told me that Oneesama heard it, and wanted to know what the fuck was going on this time. But I was too angry at the time to give her any real explanation. Instead, I gave a sadistic smile at the red hand mark across Carrot's cheek. As he covered it up and turned back, giving me this disbelieving look, like I couldn't have done such a thing, my scowl returned. And my anger was fueled ever farther.

"You stupid fucking PRICK! Jesus fucking Christ, Carrot, why can't you leave Marron the hell alone? Are you jealous because he's fucking happy? Shit! You don't have to bitch to Gateau constantly because you don't want to see him and Marron happy, and you still horribly single! And you don't even have to still be fucking single, but yet you bitch about it all the time! You chase after every goddamn skirt you see, but you can't even see that both Oneesama and I LOVE YOU!!!" I hadn't even realized the words had left my mouth till later. Instead, I slapped him again. "We put up with your shit too much, Carrot! Why the fuck are you still a sorcerer hunter, anyway? You don't give a shit! You never have! God, you make me sick sometimes, I don't know what wrong with the two of us!" With that, I was already breathing heavy from walking back to camp so angrily, but with the words rushing out of me, I was rabidly losing breath. Instead of waiting for a response, I pushed past him and hid behind a tree, my own hot tears beginning to form at my eyes as the self-hatred took over my rage and control of my judgment.

"Oh God, how could I do such a thing? That was so horrible… That was so rude of me! Carrot didn't even do anything to me, and I just blew up on him… Oh God, I admitted that I'm in love with him too… and Oneesama, but she's been telling him for quite some time… God, I am now very screwed, screwed to such an extent. Carrot will become less and less attracted to me and Oneesama, if he even had a spark of that at all, and it's all my fault… Oneesama will hate me…" I was whispering to myself, but I stopping rambling to the crickets' noise when I heard voices behind me.

Carrot and Oneesama.

"Chocolate, was all of that true? Do you really," A pause in Carrot's question, "love me?" Carrot sounded worried and unsure, as if he wasn't ever able to talk to girls.

"Of course, Darling! I thought I made it obvious enough!" Oneesama's voice was not sugar-coated as usual, but rather annoyed with Carrot, but not to the extent of me emotional torture.

"But I thought you just wanted me to have sex with you! How was I supposed to know you're in love with me!"

"Hello, Darling? Do you think me a common slut? That I would sleep with any guy that looks good? I kept offering because it seemed the only way to get you to notice me! I DID try hitting you and pushing you in the mud when we were younger, remember?"

"…Throwing yourself at me isn't the only way to get me to notice you…"

"Oh, bullshit. Carrot, you've always been searching for tits and ass. I figured if I offered enough, you'd accept eventually! Obviously didn't work!"

"Well, fine, then! Just to prove you wrong-" There was an interruption, suddenly. I made the stupid mistake, then and there, to look over my shoulder to see what caused the stop in Carrot's speech.

And it was that kiss between my older sister and my best friend's older brother that made me resort to this. I never would have needed to write this, to get this out, if not for that incident. Well, it wasn't exactly that incident. But it did go down, snowballing, from there. Oneesama and Carrot's wedding was beautiful, and Marron and Gateau's adopted daughter, Turnip, is the greatest little girl I've ever seen. But, of course, I'm partial because I take care of her. That's right, I live with Marron and Gateau now. Our days of sorcerer hunting are over, especially with the new laws and regulated searches of towns and villages.

I never found anyone else, no. Mama was starting to get worried about me, so she told me to write about what started the miraculous change from somewhat shy me to constantly shy me. Just so she can get a good idea, and to make sure it wasn't something serious, like an attack from a sorcerer that I was embarrassed, or even scared to talk about.

I barely talk now. Not even to Marron. I know it scares him, and he makes me live with him because he is scared. I think it pisses Gateau off a bit, but at this point, it doesn't make much of a difference. It's become where Marron says, goes in this house, or Gateau's sleeping in the attic. Me, I've got my own little room next to Turnip's. I insisted on taking care of her, to earn my keep, but Marron keeps saying that I've earned it, I've earned it. I never believe him. How can I believe him? I can't even believe myself.

You know, I can't stand the sound of crickets anymore. Those bugs and their noise, the constant noise. Kind of like Carrot's noise, back then.

I just couldn't endure the noise anymore.

~*~

OWARI

~*~

A/N: Bwahahahahahahahaaa!! I told you to expect the unexpected! ^^ So much for plotless sap, eh? ^^ I'm very happy with this!!! I didn't expect it to be so dark and angry, and so unlike my light-hearted writing style. Just so you know, I came up with title first, then worked it into the thing. And to tell you the truth, I really do like Tira and Carrot together, but I decided to go on new ground for me with this one. ^^ So, how did everyone (who lived through the first note, of course) like it? Did it pull your heartstrings? Did it shock you? What? ^^ I, for one, am happy with the turnout, and it was a good exercise for me. I usually have problems with this type, especially going into other fandoms. And we all know I'm relatively a newbie in Bakuretsu Hunter land. Anyway, tell me what you thought, beg me to come back to this fandom, pay me to leave permanently, whatever. I just hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it. ^^ 


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